-Kate Gosselin.

She’s right, you know.  We often forget, as Americans, that along with our right to free speech and free assembly, our right to practice our chosen religion and to bear arms, that we also have a special right that we can work for as prescribed in the very Constitution of These United States- the right to look good.

Did George Washington die from syphilis so that Kate Gosselin could have visible cellulite after all of the work that she’s done?!  Did Thomas Jefferson write the Declaration of Independence so that Kate Gosselin, after all her hard work, could have split ends?!  Did John Hancock sign that Declaration larger than everyone else so that Kate Gosselin, after all of her toil and strife, could have wrinkles or less than toned back muscles?!  Did Betsey Ross sew that first flag so that America’s future hard-working professional exploiters of children would be stuck with anything less than the world’s most advanced spray tan?

NO.  Not in my country. 

You enjoy those rights you’ve earned, Kate.  God, you’re such a fucking patriot.

(via morninggloria)

BRB, roflmaoing…

Okay. Okay, so IF Kate had naturally conceived and delivered a litter of human beings, and IF her body went back to normal through some kind of combination of strict diet, exercise and magic … THEN maybe, maybe I would say, well, you know what? This person has kind of earned the right to look good. Good for them.

But no, Kate Gosselin. You haven’t “earned” shit, quite frankly. And what is this “work” bullshit? Work?! Being a reality star is not work. Tiring, perhaps. Brought on your own head, surely. Work? No. Having (free!) plastic surgery is not work. Painful, yes. Brought on your own head (and with no expense of your own), yes. Work? No. Hang it up.